Well everyone, you probably all know by now that there has been a major change in my life since my last blog post. My father passed away last Thursday, September 22nd. He had aspirated a week prior to his passing and we had been called into the nursing home thinking he was going to pass that Wednesday night 9/14, however, by the time we reached the nursing home his status had improved. But, from that night on, he never ate the same again. He would accept food sometimes, but couldn't swallow it and when he tried he would get choked. We were told that if he remained the same with his eating habits that we should expect his passing anytime. Folks, I thought about blogging you all to let you know to be praying for us, but honestly, I thought he'd surprise us all and pull through it. I looked back at the dates and he was originally hospitalized for his bedsore sometime around July 15th. Since that time he had lost approximately 30lbs. He was pitiful. I had the blessing of seeing him Thursday and I actually tried to feed him lunch. I got maybe half a container of yogurt in him or at least on him (his bib that is) and then he drifted off to sleep. But before lunch I had some one-on-one time with him and people, he was more alert that day than I had seen him in years. He started out our time lying on his side and I could see he was more alert, so I took the opportunity to show him some pictures of the twins on my phone and played him a recent video of Meredith. I watched his pupils staring fixed on the screen; looking at it and not through it like he usually did. I couldn't believe my eyes. Later, when we sat him up for lunch he stared me in the eyes. I did a double take and he continued to look me in the eye. Looking back now, I feel like he must have known something was up and that God blessed him with new found alertness that last day. After he looked at me like that, I quickly reached for my phone to look up a beautiful poem that my brother had written in his honor. I explained that my brother had written it for him and then I read it aloud. I think he heard it and understood it, or at least parts of it. He started to move in response to it and actually cried a couple of tears. I truly think he got it and loved it! I told him I loved him so many times that day and I rubbed his arms and hands incessantly. But I honestly did not think that would be the last time that I would ever see him alive. 
My family and I were just sitting down for supper around 7pm that same evening when my mom called to say that the nursing home had called her to come in, my dad had aspirated again. The nursing home staff were more urgent this time. I opted to sit down and eat quickly before leaving to go. A nursing home staffer called me personally awhile later and asked where I was, my mom wanted to know where I was. I left instantly. I didn't make. I was 10 minutes late. I walked into the room and it was just my mom sitting there with my dad lying in bed peacefully. I only needed to look at him to see that he was gone, but I asked my mom anyway and she confirmed my thoughts. I hope this doesn't sound insensitive, but I didn't cry; I raised my hands to heaven and said, "hallelujah!" Friends, it was time. My daddy has not been himself for so many years and he had reached a point where his physical body was wasting away rapidly. The bedsore was only getting larger and he had lost so much weight that helooked like a prisoner from a concentration camp. He has been set free from that body that was holding him captive and I know that because he had a relationship with Christ that he is no longer suffering and that he has a new glorious body. What freedom there is in Christ!!! What hope I have thanks to Christ in knowing that my father is at peace! Not only that, but it was a peaceful passing, it wasn't a struggle!
My father was buried yesterday. We had an amazing funeral, yes, I said an amazing funeral. People shared stories about my dad from all walks of his life and I mean the whole audience was in stitches laughing. There were also parts of the service in which people clapped for my mom and the loving care she had faithfully provided my dad for all these years. My brother read that INCREDIBLE poem that I mentioned earlier, the one I read to my dad on the day he passed away. The Lord blessed me with the strength to get up and share a few words about the honor it is to be Joe B. Griffin's daughter. The crowd joined in a "Hallelujah" that my daddy was free!!! We cried, we laughed, we praised Jesus for the blessed assurance we have through Christ!!! It was a good day and my daddy would've been so humbled to have heard all the wonderful things people said about him...it made me all that more proud to be his daughter.
I know this is a long post already, but for my own memory's sake, I want to post what I shared at the funeral so that I won't ever forget and so that hopefully, those of you who weren't able to attend can hear about what a wonderful man the Lord blessed me with as a father. I added a few things on the spur of the moment the day of the funeral, but this is the gist of it. Words can never do him justice.
"What a wonderful day to celebrate the man who God handpicked to be our daddy. I knew it would be hard to stand up here and speak today, but I also knew that if I didn’t, I would probably regret it for the rest of my life. I’m just so honored to call Joe Griffin my father and as a parent myself now, I can’t think of anything better than to know that in your last days, your children can look at you and say; good job, I’m proud that you were mine…and boy am I proud that he was my mine.
I think that one of the most difficult things about my dad’s battle with Huntington’s disease is that so many people never got to see the man that he was. I would find myself explaining to nurses and doctors who were meeting him for the first time, what a good man he was; how strong he once had been…trying to help them see beyond the man wasting away speechlessly in the bed in front of them. But words could never do my daddy justice.
I’ve often heard people calling my daddy Big Joe and someone once told me they thought that was because he had such a big heart; and he did, which is evidenced by the amazing crowd at the visitation last night and by every individual in this room; because you wouldn’t be here if you weren’t impacted in some way by my daddy.
And I think each of us here have missed Joe Griffin for a long time now. It’s been hard on everyone to stand by and watch him disappear – so I think it’s safe to say that we all can join in saying a joyful hallelujah that he is free – free of that body and free from suffering! It just goes to show what a blessed hope there truly is for those who put their trust in Christ. Because today is not a day of mourning, it is a day of joy as we celebrate what God gave and what God has now taken away.
You know, many people would have been tempted to get bitter in my dad’s circumstances, and I have to admit; it hasn’t always been easy to stay positive. I have wrestled with verses like Romans 8:28 that says, “that in all things God works for the good of those who love him.” I’ve asked myself what good has come of this…but, it didn’t take long for me to find that good…and I wanted to take a few minutes to share the good that I’ve witnessed with you.
I’ll go ahead and get the most emotional one out of the way first. What good did I witness? Well, I witnessed what it means to honor your commitment of “in sickness and in health” in watching my mother care for my father all of these years. There have been many times where I have just hugged my mama and told her, “thank you for loving my daddy” and love him, she did! She didn’t just take care of hi because she had to, she care for him out of genuine love. I have sat by and watched my mama hold my daddy’s face in her hands and say, “I love you Joe Griffin” and I know that had to bring him such comfort. It certainly taught me a lot about what it means to be a wife and I’m thankful I could learn that through my dad’s circumstances.
What other good did I witness? I learned to appreciate the things we normally take granted: eye contact, hearing my daddy say my name, laughing together. I remember one of the last times that my daddy really laughed about something. We were sitting around the kitchen table, I know that it was my dad, brother; my mom and maybe Steven and my dad got tickled at something. I think he was talking about Joey’s singing – no offense Joey – but this deep belly laugh came from my daddy and this boyish, mischievous grin slowly came over my dad and before long we were all laughing until we cried because we were just so thankful to be laughing together.
Another good thing was hearing I love you a lot more. My dad was a hard workingman. And as I’ve matured I’ve recognized that he carried a lot of weight on his shoulders throughout his life. I think that as his illness progressed, it took away some of the defenses he’d put up throughout his life and we began to see the gentle giant that was always inside of him. He started to say I love you more than he ever had in the past and we treasured every one. I don’t have any doubt that my daddy knew that I loved him and I know that he loved me too.
I’m thankful for phone calls from my dad. When I went to Russia in 2001, my dad was beginning to get a little obsessive compulsive about things, a consequence of his disease, and every daddy he would insist on having my mom call me in Russia, and there was just no telling him no. Mama says that he would say, “isn’t it about time to call Candi?” Needless to say, at the end of the summer, my parents had one expensive phone bill and everyone on my team was absolutely in love with my daddy.
I’ve learned to appreciate the things I used to hate. I would give anything to work in a garden with my daddy, but I used to despise it. I would give anything to have a peanut trailer to climb up into to get a peanut sample for him. I would pick up pinecones all day if I could do it with him beside me. I would shuck a million bushels of corn and not complain when my dad drove up with another truckload overflowing full. I would say yes sir every time he asked me to do something and I would happily eat a spoonful of stewed tomatoes when he told me, :if you like ketchup you should like this.”
I’ve seen the purity of true friendship in those friends who would sit by his bedside, holding his hand and visiting even when he was long past making any connection. In hearing friends talk to him like he was the same ‘ol “Big Joe.”
I’ve seen God’s provision as he provided compassionate caregivers who treated my father with dignity until the very end.
We learned to appreciate midnight conversations when my dad would start talking in the middle of the night. Those real moments of connection and conversation were so rare that when we heard him talking, we would turn on every light in the house and pull up a chair to join in while the moment lasted.
Kisses – I appreciate kisses. You may think this is weird, but I’ve always kissed my dad on the lips. He’d do this silly little pucker up with his lower lip and I’d give him a kiss. Well, for awhile there, as he was slipping further away in his dementia, he was talking less and less, but I could still get him to pucker up and give me a kiss – and boy were those special kisses.
I appreciate that he was a man of integrity, strong character, that he hated injustice and always wanted to do what was right.
I have witness the love, care, and hard work that he had invested into his church, community, county and relationships paid back to him tenfold in genuine love, care and action.
I have witnessed the body of Christ clearly at work; loving and serving my family, doing things like transporting my Nana to chemo appointments when my mother couldn’t do it, to providing meals, visits and organizing major fundraisers to support my dad’s care.
Perhaps the greatest good that I have witnessed is seeing my father not lose faith in God, knowing full well what lye ahead of him with this disease. I remember walking in on him praying once with a pastor on TV. I just sat back and watched. He was so earnest as he prayed, so genuine. He never lost faith.
Which is why, after struggling with Romans 8:28, I can find such hope in Romans 8:29-30
In summary it says that God works for the good of those who love him because they have been called to be conformed to the image of Christ and that those he called, he also glorified.
My dad certainly had years of suffering, just as Christ suffered and his faith was proven genuine – now we have hope in knowing that he has been glorified with Christ and is at peace.
So, we leave you this morning with a slideshow of images to remind you of the wonderful man who was Joe Griffin. Thank you all, from the bottom of our hearts for everything you have done to love, care for, and serve my father and our family throughout these years of trial. We love you."
