Christmas 2008

It's hard to believe that Christmas holiday has already come and gone. Steven and I had a wonderful few days with our families. We stayed with my mom and dad in Farm Life accompanied by my brother and Nana. Christmas in the Griffin household was very calm and not rushed. We ate good food, spent quality time together and of course, opened some fun presents. We got our first gifts for the babies - my mom bought them each an ornament; the girl a barbie ballerina and the boy a onesie on a hanger with a superman S on it. I LOVE superman, so I absolutely loved the "Superbaby Ornament!" We also got some precious clothes and bibs (all talking about grandma and grandaddy).

We were also blessed with time at Steven's maternal grandmother's home with all of his aunts and uncles - we always have a blast at Grandma Penny's; we have fun traditions of games and gag gifts which always leave us laughing. Christmas day was spent with my folks, then onto Steven's mom and dads to open presents with his immediate family. Steven's folks gave the babies the most adorable toys (see pictures below) - for the girl an adorable pink and white toy stroller and for the boy a radio flyer wagon that he can push both filled with goodies. All of these baby gifts made things so real for us - just think, next year at this time we'll have two 8 month olds! The Manning Christmas was followed by Christmas at Grandma Dot's (Steven's paternal grandmother). We are so thankful to be surrounded by such amazing family that we love to spend time with!

One of the highlights of the holidays was announcing our baby names. Steven had wanted to wait and announce the names at Christmas so as to surprise his family which is where we got the kids' middle names. Our baby girl's name is Meredith Ann Manning (after my sister, Meredith and Steven's paternal grandmother, Dorothy Ann). Our baby boy's name is Berkley Roger Manning (after my father, Joe Berkley and Steven's father, Roger). Now I just have to quit calling them baby girl and baby boy and actually use their names.

Another highlight of the break was talking with my dad, which may not sound that fascinating, but it's truly a big deal. My dad's dementia is so severe that he VERY RARELY uses one word let alone has any intelligible response to questions. One night over the break I saw a little something in my dad's eyes (I saw him) and began to ask him simple questions. I wasn't expecting any response and he quickly responded with one word answers. He probably answered about 10 questions for me, the greatest of which was what I was having in which he responded "a baby!" It was great to hear that my dad understands that I'm pregnant and that our keeping him involved in our lives is a valuable thing. What precious moments times like this are for me and I hope I never forget them:)

We're having...

A boy and a girl!!! How exciting is that? We are so thrilled to know we're going to be parents of a son and a daughter and not only that, to see that they are looking healthy at this point. Their little brains, hearts, stomachs, kidneys, hands and feet all look like they're functioning properly. It was an amazing thing to watch our babies kicking, moving, and putting their hands to their faces. The ultrasound tech first discovered our baby boy - he was very proud to show us that he was a boy; he sat with his legs spread wide the entire time. Now our girl on the other hand, she was very modest. We went to try and discover what she was and she was holding her umbilical cord between her legs. Thankfully the ultrasound technician moved forward with looking at their organs and by the end of the ultrasound our baby girl was cooperating. I could literally see Steven's chest fill with pride when the technician said "a boy" and I started tearing up when she said "a girl." Words cannot express our gratitude to God for this gift. I know things are going to be chaotic with two and that I should go ahead and count on no sleep for...well, maybe I shouldn't even think about sleep. The only concern at this point was that the baby girl is smaller than the baby boy; he weighs about 12 oz and she's at 9 oz. This could be due to several simple things like when they actually implanted or just that she's a girl, but the doctors are going to do another ultrasound on Jan. 14th to be sure she's still growing proportionately. Thank you all for rejoicing with us! We're so thankful for all of our friends and family and look forward to you sharing in this special time with us.

(The top picture is the baby girl's profile, the 2nd is the baby boy's profile, and the bottom picture is their two little heads side by side with the girl on the right and the boy on the left)

Remembering Meredith

Today marks the 5th anniversary of my sister's accident. It's hard for me to believe that 5 years have passed since that tragic day that changed my life forever. It's days like today that make me stop to reflect on how far God has brought me and my family over the past 5 years. I know it is only by God's grace that we have been able to move forward - not forgetting my sister, but being able to live with the loss and still have joy in life. I see how we have evolved over the years - from complete devastation at the 1 year anniversary to being able to cry and laugh at the wonderful memories we have today. I'm thankful for the peace that God has given me to supernaturally trust in his plan all these years, even though it hasn't been easy and at times very painful. I think about how he created these lives in me and orchestrated the timing so I would have the ultrasound to find out the sexes around this anniversary - giving my family such a happy event to get us through this weekend. So with that being said, I praise God for the 23 years I had to share with my sister. I praise God that he chose her for my family (she was adopted). I praise God that I know without a shadow of a doubt that Meredith knew I loved her. And I praise God that He has grown me through this.

18 weeks and counting...

Today marks my 18th week of pregnancy and I just can't believe how fast it's going. My babies really did some growing this week because I feel like I've popped out suddenly. I had lost 8 lbs over the first 16-17 weeks and have managed to gain nearly all of that back during the last week and a half. I'm pretty sure that I've been feeling the babies move since week 15 but it's just tiny flutters, more like a pulse in my belly - nothing major just yet. Things are definitely changing...I go to the bathroom at least 2 times each night and this week was the first week that I wasn't supposed to sleep on my back at all (and of course the belly is out). It's been torturous trying to get used to sleeping on my sides when I'm so used to my stomach - but I count it all joy:) Did any of you other mothers out there dream a lot more during pregnancy? I am dreaming like CRAZY. I can recall at least 4 different dreams I had just last night and they were all out of the ordinary. So the adventure continues and I'm finally starting to truly feel pregnant. Steven is absolutely loving to watch my belly grow and we are enjoying sharing in the anticipation of our developing family. Everyone's been asking for a photo of my development - hope you enjoy:)

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving was not quite what I'd imagined it to be. Poor Steven, first year resident that he is, was on call the entire day so he couldn't join in any of the family festivities. Not only that, but my most wonderful brother, Joey, had to work on Thanksgiving as well...so my two most favorite men in the world weren't there to share in the fun. Nonetheless, the food was amazing and it was great to see some family members who rarely get to visit anymore. I celebrated at lunch time with my side of the family and dinner time with Steven's maternal grandmother's side of the family. Almost all of the 13 people present for the Thanksgiving dinner at grandma Penny's caught a stomach virus and I ended up sick the rest of the weekend and have thankfully been recuperating well. Talk about the pits - it's no fun being pregnant and having a stomach bug on top of it. My wonderful husband took off two days of work to care for me and our babies only to catch it himself - now he's in bed and I'm waiting on him. Hopefully the bug will run it's course and Steven will be up and running by Thursday, but I hate that he's missed now 4 days of work - especially a new rotation. It's definitely humbled me though. I told Steven that when I was feeling the worst I would sing hymns and tell myself "God is so good" and it truly made me feel better. Praise God the doctors said that the virus couldn't hurt the babies - only dehydration, so I've been doing my best to stay hydrated. It's a shame, my husband and I have had 4 whole days together and haven't been able to do a bit of preparations for Christmas - I don't when I'll get this much time with him. Praise God that he can take the time though and so can I so that we can take care of ourselves.

I go to the doctor on Dec. 16th for the ultrasound to find out the sex of the babies. It stinks that I've lost 8 lbs since I found out I was pregnant, but most of that was just in the last few days with this bug. Oh well, I've got plenty of extra for the babies to live off of and I'm not worried about quickly putting it back on. We can't wait to have some happy news to share as to the sex of the babies. WE'll keep you posted.

I have the world's greatest mom

Today is my sweet mama's birthday! My mom is the most wonderful woman in the world and I respect her so much. Day in and day out she takes care of my dad and she does it with so much love and tenderness. She is an amazing example of a servant who is constantly giving. I lover her and I'm so thankful that God has allowed me to be raised by such an amazing woman. Happy birthday mama...or shall I say Burpy Happy day!

November News

We've had the wonderful gift of having a couple of dear friends visit us from Arizona the past couple of weeks. Kirk and Linda Burtch came into town mid-October to support our pastor and his wife as they welcomed their new baby girl, Noel. Once the baby arrived, we were lucky enough to have Kirk and Linda stay with us...and unfortunately, their visit will end tomorrow. It has been incredibly encouraging to have such mature believers staying with us, spurring us on in our walk to be more like Christ, and we will truly miss their daily encouragement.

In other news, Steven has begun a new rotation in his first year of residency; he's now on cardiology. He's on call at least twice a week and only has one day off each week. It's of course difficult not to see him everyday, but I understand that it's a sacrifice that we'll have to make for these next 3 years. Thankfully, Steven is really enjoying each rotation and can function well on little sleep - which will certainly come in handy when our twins arrive.

I was fortunate enough to be contacted by some folks from the Carolina Pregnancy Center here in Greenville, asking if I would be interested in a free ultrasound. They were training a new sonographer and needed ladies who were between 12 and 16 weeks. I was like, "Ahhhhhh, YES! Of course, I'd LOVE a free ultrasound!" I went Friday, accompanied by my mother and grandmother, Nana, and it was perfect! I was amazed by how much the babies were moving. They are pretty much situated head to head and it looked like they were constantly butting each other's heads. One actually got the hiccups while we were watching and both at one point or other put their thumb in their mouths. I really emotionally connected with them when I got to see them on the screen. It's amazing to think that they are so busy inside me and I can't even feel it yet. It was such an honor to share in the experience with my mom and Nana. Nana had never seen an ultrasound before and she was precious to watch - at one point she even said that one of the babies looked like my Papa and she's already picked out the girl. We won't find out what they actually are until Dec. 16th, but I would love to have a girl just for my Nana.

That's all the festivities thus far in November, but I'm looking forward to celebrating my mom and brother's birthdays next week and of course, Thanksgiving with the family at the end of the month:)

Sweet Heartbeats

Today I had my 12 week visit (although I technically won't be 12 weeks until Friday). The main event on the agenda was hearing the heartbeats. The nurse said it was probably going to be difficult to hear the heartbeats b/c I wasn't quite 12 weeks and b/c it was twins. But thankfully, they were cooperative and I was able to hear both...one louder than the other. It was a wonderfully reassuring sound. The doctor says that the miscarriage is less likely since we've made it this far which was very comforting to hear. Regardless, I know that I just have to trust God with these babies. Keep praying that things continue to go well and that I will be able to carry them to 37 weeks. I also found out that I'll find out if we're having boys, girls, or one of each on Dec. 16th - can't wait!!!

We're doing well

Everyone has received the news of our twins so happily and with such joy! It's been wonderful to see people's responses when we say twins...almost everyone gasps and gives you that long look of "you're kidding." I have to admit, it's still been difficult for me to believe it and the idea of two babies to care for just hasn't quite sunk in. I'm sure that as I begin to show over the next few weeks, the idea will certainly sink in more easily. I was 10 weeks as of Friday and doing great thus far. I have spoken with a couple of ladies who have had twins which has made me praise the Lord for the fact that I don't have a high paced job and that I don't have any prexisting health conditions such as diabetes or hypertension. One lady said she had to be put on complete bed rest at just 9 weeks b/c of her hypertension. My continued prayer is that I can carry these babies to at least 37 weeks w/ no bedrest. I'm feeling well overall. I'm still nauseous all throughout the day and have found that I have to eat at least every 2 hours to keep the nausea at bay. I can tell that I'm getting bigger, but seeing as I'm already on the plus side, most folks really can't tell right now. I'm going to start taking pictures every week to show how I'm growing. I'll begin posting those once I think you could actually tell somethings growing...which according to everything I'm reading will be soon. Steven is of course on cloud 9 and actually got into looking at baby things at BabysRUs the other day. Fun times ahead. I'll keep you posted on our progress.

Great News!

What gave it away?

On August 31st, our 6th anniversary Steven and I discovered that I was pregnant. As you can imagine, we were so thrilled. What a special day to learn such wonderful news. We decided to keep it under wraps until we returned from Arizona, knowing that our parents would have been scared the entire time we were there. My first OB work-up was last Tuesday and I was very nervous, mainly because at my last work-up for our first pregnancy in March we discovered that our baby had no heartbeat. I couldn't even look at the ultrasound screen this time, in fear that it would be the same story, but thankfully it was not. The ultrasound technician began her exam and said that she saw one sac and then that she thought she saw a second sac. They took a closer look and sure enough, we are expecting TWINS; fraternal twins. One of the babies measured at 8 weeks and the other at 7 weeks and 4 days - so as of this past Friday I'm considered 8 weeks pregnant and my due date is May 15th, 5 days before my 29th birthday. The smallest baby was difficult to get a clear picture because of where it was located, but we still got to hear both heartbeats. The biggest baby's heartbeat was 160 beats/minute and the smallest baby was 150, both very healthy. We couldn't resist driving to Williamston Tuesday night to tell our folks. We had purchased a folding picture frame for each of our parents in Arizona, planning to put an ultrasound picture on one side and a verse on the other..instead we put an ultrasound picture on each side. We told our parents that we bought them something from Arizona, my mom opened hers first and thought that it was an ultrasound of Andrea's baby. I said, No...actually, that's our baby and that's baby 1 and baby 2. My mom just screamed and screamed. Steven's parents didn't believe it at first - his mom immediately got on the phone to start calling family to share the good news.

All this being said...we are very excited. Please pray for us - for me specificaly that I would enjoy this pregnancy and not live in fear that I could miscarry - ultimately that I would trust God regardless of His plan. Pray for the healthy development of our babies. Pray that I will be able to eat, as I have been so nauseous that I really haven't been eatting enough considering my new nutritional needs. And pray that God would continually prepare Steven and I for the great adventure of parenthood.

Our Trip to Arizona

Steven and I spent 6 wonderful days in Mesa, AZ with my best friend, Andrea, and her wonderful husband, Matt...who are expecting their first child in about 6 weeks. What an amazing time we had with our dear friends. We hit the ground running - we were picked up from the airport by our friend Mike Robbins who married an Arizonian in July and moved out there - it was great to see him and hear all about married life. We visited friend, Mike and Susan Adams on Wednesday night and they introduced us to the game Medal of Honor on the Wii...man, Susan was brutal. Then on Thursday we drove through the beautiful landscape of Arizona - through Sedona up to the thankfully, cool Flagstaff, AZ where we spent the night with our friends Linda and Kirk Burtch (and their dog Abby)...who also have a Wii and introduced us to many fun games. Friday it was a drive up to the Grand Canyon. Wow...we were absolutely blown away by God's creativity and magnificence. We actually kept our eyes closed as Matt and Andrea walked us up to the edge and then opened our eyes to the vastness of the Canyon. It was truly breathtaking. Saturday was so relaxing - we slept late and had a wonderful breakfast, hung around the house and then dinner with Sarah and Mike Robbins - we played an awesome game called Mexican Train and got to hear all about our friends new home purchase and new job. Sunday was the highlight of the trip - it was our first visit at New Covenant Bible Fellowship, the church that planted our church, Crossroads Bible Fellowship. I love that we were able to put faces with all of the names that we already knew and to had sweet christian fellowship with the body in AZ. I was also very excited that I could attend Andrea's first baby shower on Sunday. What an honor to be with my best friend on such a special day. Andrea got so many precious gifts for Benjamin - I have to admit, I can't wait to see Benjamin in the ECU jersey that Steven and I gave him:) It was also fun to see Andrea's face as she opened gifts from the Crossroads family, which I think were especially dear. Wow - what a busy trip, it's already Monday which unfortunately meant back to work for Matt and to the airport for me and Steven . We had such a fabulous time with so many dear friends and I feel that our friendship with Matt & Andrea grew deeper. Now, if only I could be in AZ when Benjamin is born. Oh what I would give to be at the hospital that day. Thank goodness for Skype! Hope you enjoy the pictures:)

6 Years!!!

On Sunday, August 31st, Steven and I celebrated our 6th anniversary. It's unbelievable to me that 6 years have come and gone for us as a married couple...it's even more unbelievable that we were together for 6 years prior to our marriage for a grand total of 12 years. Steven and I had a wonderfully relaxing weekend in New Bern, NC at the Aerie Inn Bed & Breakfast. It was such a great time to relax, with nothing we had to do and nowhere we had to be. We took the opportunity of solace to reflect on how we are doing in our marriage and thankfully, I can say that we are continuously growing stronger. This has been a difficult, yet wonderful year. It's very surreal how I can say that our miscarriage at the end of March was one of the hardest and yet strongest times of our marriage. Being able to grieve with my husband and see that he hurt as badly as I did and yet we held firm to our faith through it all, trusting that God had a plan for this trial was such sweet comfort. It's also fascinating to think about all of the positive changes we've seen - like Steven's graduation from med-school, his beginning of residency and purchasing our first home. It has been such an honor to journey this path with Steven...seeing him grow from an infatuated teenager to a man who is a great doctor and husband. I can't wait to see where the next 6 years takes us!

August???

It's almost the end of August and I haven't posted a single time. Where has time gone. I can't say we've done anything very exciting this month...work, church, family...that's about it. Steven has been on the OB/Gyn rotation, which means he's been staying bringing babies into the world...pretty crazy to me. I'm hoping some of that will rub off on us. I have a new student intern working with me and with that comes that challenge of balancing my regular caseload and teaching...I'm definitely still learning about being a good teacher.

I've had a couple of difficult experiences over the course of August; one dealing with a friend and one with a work acquaintance (but they're truly my friends). One of my friends from college lost her husband in a tragic motorcycle accident on August 9th. Whenever I hear of people experiencing sudden loss like this, my heart is deeply saddened. Having experienced the sudden loss of my sister, I know how your world can change instantly in a way you never imagined. Reading my friends blog and facebook posts brings back so many memories of the the aching heart and constant sorrow...it also reminds me of how comforting it is to have Christ to cling to during those times. For anyone out there, if you have the chance, please pray for my friend Erica as she figures out what life looks like with out her dear husband.

My work friend lost her husband suddenly on Friday after a brief illness (Wed-Friday). This woman just lost her daughter less than 1 year ago and now she's grieving her husband. The grief this woman is experiencing is unimaginable to me. I'm so thankful that my coworkers allowed me to spend the day with her on Friday to provide support. What a blessing to serve someone during such a dark time.

I do not share these stories to depress you...although, I can imagine that they are. These are just reminders to me of the brevity of life. These experiences have made me hold Steven tighter and praise God that I have him for another night...when I know I'm not guaranteed anything.

Meanwhile, I'll leave you with two verses that brought me the greatest comfort in my personal grief.


Psalm 139: 15-16 "My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."

Philippians 4:6-7 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

What reassurance to know that God knows all the days ordained for me; no one but God will take me from this earth and it won't be an accident, but God's plan for me.

What reassurance to know that God's peace transcends all understanding...even in circumstances like I've seen recently when there seems to be know understanding to be found.

Resident's Retreat

This weekend Steven and I had the wonderful opportunity of spending 2 days with all of his fellow residents, 1st-3rd years, along with their spouses and children. The retreat was held on Sunday and Monday at a retreat center in Pine Knoll Shores, NC. I was expecting it to be a "bonding" time and even expected that we might have to do a ropes course type of activity, but thankfully - I was wrong. We did bond, just not on a ropes course. Steven and the other doctors had to attend conferences while I spent time connecting with other wives and husbands of residents. Steven and I had a blast getting to know these people who are going to be so entwined in our lives over the next 3 years. I look forward to investing myself in these relationships that God has given me and pray that I'll be a reflection of Christ to this diverse group.

Steven is in a class with 8 other residents, 5 guys and 3 girls. Steven has been amazed at how quickly the group has bonded and I'm sure that we will become like family during the next 3 years.

Above is a picture of most of the ladies on Sunday night and one that I love of me and Steven.

Little Moments

Today was a GREAT day with my daddy. My daddy is in the late stages of Huntington's disease, which means he is totally physically dependent on others (mainly my mama) and he has severe dementia. He has very few "alert" times anymore. Typically when I go to visit, he stares through me as I talk to him. I used to be one of the only people who could get him to mumble a few words - but recently he's been silent. Well today was different. I got to my folks' house and my dad was sitting up in bed and he looked at me when I came in - and I mean REALLY looked at me. The whole afternoon he would follow me with his eyes as I walked around the room and appeared to be listening to every word I said. He even answered three questions for me today with one word responses. It's little moments like these that I celebrate. They are so rare now and I know they are only going to become more rare. I wanted to blog this day so that I will remember it down the road, when he has progressed so far that there are no more connecting moments.

Note to self - remember the response to "What do you want to do Daddy?" - "Eat."

Weekend Update (w/ the Mannings)

We had some special guests in our home this weekend. My mom's brother and his family came for a visit from Charlotte and it just so happened that it was my cousin Jamie's 12th birthday. Of course, we couldn't let an opportunity to celebrate pass us by, so we threw a little party for Jamie at our home. It was quaint with just a few family members, but it was a lot of fun. I still can't believe that Jamie is 12 and his brother, Philip, is 16 - I'm supposed to be a teenager, not them.

We also had a great time on Saturday watching the new Batman movie with friends. I highly recommend the film, it is action packed from the opening scene until the end. It was weird to watch Heath Ledger in the film, knowing that he passed away, especially considering how he made the Joker so uniquely his own character and he's not even around to hear the entertainment world shout his praise.

Saturday ended with a sweet evening at our friends, Kim and Craig Morrisette and their adorable children, Caleb and Lydia. Times with dear friends like that are so few and far between now, which makes it so precious when we can just sit around and talk about our lives. It amazing to watch the two of them parent their children, I always leave learning a new technique that I hope to apply when I become a mother.

And here we are on Sunday...and I'm headed to Farm Life to visit my folks, my Sunday ritual (and honor). I better get ready to go - Larry's ready to see his grandmama.

You Have To Try This

So I've joined Weight Watchers on-line. I've done weight watchers several times in the past and everytime it's been effective - I just never stuck to it. The point of weight watchers is making it a lifestyle - not just a diet. This go around - I'm definitely making it a lifestyle.

Anyway, this blog is not a weight watchers ad (although I would like to brag that I've lost 4.8 lbs in 5 days) - this is really about a great recipe that I wanted to share. Since I'm trying to eat healthier, I've been seeking out new recipes to try. I found this one on-line and it's only 3 pts a serving. It tastes amazing and it's super simple with only 7 ingredients. Give it a try!

Bruschetta Chicken Bake
Ingredients:
1 (14.5 oz) can diced tomatoes, undrained
1 (6oz) package Stove Top Stuffing Mix for chicken
1/2 cup water
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 1/2 lbs boneless skinless chicken breasts, cut into bite-size pieces
1 teaspoon dried basil leaves
1 cup shredded low-moisture part-skim mozzarella cheese

Cooking Directions:
1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Place tomatoes in Med. bowl. Add stuffing mix, water and garlic; stir just until stuffing mix is moistened. Set aside.
2. Place chicken in 13x9 inch baking dish; sprinkle with basil and cheese. Top with stuffing mix.
3. Bake 30 min. or until chicken is cooked through.

Yields 6 serving.

Bon Appetit!

An uninvited guest

Steven and I had quite the surprise on Tuesday evening. We had just finished hosting Bible study at our house. Nearly all of our guests had left and one guy was helping Steven change the light bulb on the outside porch. As Steven lays down the top of the light fixture on the banister of the porch, our guest tells Steven that he might want to look out b/c ...there's a snake on the banister! Steven calmly steps away and sure enough, beside where he had just laid part of the light fixture was a snake coiled around the banister. The snake never seemed alarmed at our presence, he was totally focused on one thing - getting up and into my hanging fern. It was amazing to watch this guy try so hard to sliver up to the hanging plant...but thankfully he was unsuccessful. As you can see from the pictures below, he got pretty close to the fern, but his

body would eventually collapse when he fully extended himself. We're still trying to figure out what sort of snake he is, we're thinking maybe a Queen snake. Steven tried to kill the snake with a sword that he borrowed from a friend (yes, I said a sword - long story), but the thing still got away. I have to admit, I've been very causious since that night, but the only creatures I've seen since are just lizards. Fun, fun, fun!

Kiawah '08

I'm just returning from Kiawah Island, SC where I had the privelege of spending a few days with several cousins, aunts, and uncles...all thanks to the wonderful Blount family! My sweet brother drove all the way from Charlotte on Thursday so that he could ride the 6 hour drive with me to SC...and it was well worth it. Joey and I had such a blast singing great music, laughing, reminiscing, and even crying a bit. The beach was absolutely glorious, the food was awesome, and of course time with the family was the highlight. We even had the treat of seeing 4 different sets of fireworks while we were there, we didn't even have to leave the comfort of the area we were staying to see them. We walked down the deck, sat on the beach and watched the fireworks going off over the ocean - talk about beautiful! Another beautiful sight was a thunderstorm that rolled in yesterday; it was breathtaking to watch the clouds as they circulated over the ocean. The thunder reminded me of several scriptures that always humble me, here's one I wanted to share:

Job: 37:2-7 & 11-13," Listen! Listen to the roar of his voice, to the rumbling that comes from hi mouth. He unleashes hi lightening beneath the whole heaven and sends it to the ends of the earth. After that comes the sound of his roar; he thunders with his majestic voice. When his voice resounds, he holds nothing back. God's voice thunders in marvelous ways; he does great things beyond our understanding. He says to the snow, Fall on the earth and to the rain shower, 'be a mighty downpour.' So that all men he has made may know his work, he stopes every man from his labor...He loads the clouds with moisture; he scatters his lightning through them. At his direction they swirl around over the face of the whole earth to do whatever he commands them. He brings the clouds to punish mena, or to water his earth and show his love."

Wow, what an amazing picture of God's might, his wisdom, and power. It's so humbling to be reiminded of his greatness and how he does all things for a reason, even make the rain pour.

This 4th of July holiday, be it ever so brief, was a great time of reflection on all of the blessings God has given me; my freedom, my amazing family, and my glorious God!

Pics of the House...finally

So sorry that it's taken us so long to post some pictures of our new home. Here are just a few pictures. Enjoy, we certainly are! And forgive my format - I haven't figured out how to put together a slideshow yet.

I'm Back

Camp 2008 was wonderful, but of course, exhausting. I would say that the highlight of my week was getting to know one of our newly diagnosed teenage patients. This patient is very shy and I had only met her once prior to camp. I saw her sitting alone while her group was participating in art, so I took the opportunity to chat. We ended up talking for about 30 minutes and at the end of the conversation she said, "I like talking to you, it's nice." In that moment, time was frozen and I said internally, "I love my job!" I may stay filthy all week, there are numerous spiders and insects everywhere, I have to function on very little sleep, but I get to know my kids so much better and that's worth it! One of my 8 year old campers remembered that I had played basketball with him the past two years and asked me every night when if I would play with him this year. We finally ended up playing briefly last night. When my patient decided to take a break from the game he just stopped, took my arm, and put it around his shoulders...another, "I love my job" moment.

It was also a good week of reflection. Although camp has a hectic schedule, I did manage to find some time to steal away and focus on where I am at spiritually. The camp is right on the water of the Pamlico Sound, which makes reflection on God very easy. I began reading a book entitled, Lies Women Believe, and the Truth that Sets Them Free. I have only just started this book, but already I have been convicted by the Spirit. One of the lies this book suggests women fall into believing is that we can have a fruitful relationship with Christ without spending time in His word and in prayer. I have to admit, this is me...I have run on my own steam for too long, believing that I could have an effective ministry without being fed by the word and refreshed through prayer regularly. I took the opportunity to reconnect with God and spent some quality time in prayer and God blessed that by giving me opportunities to pray several times with one of my patients. I'm hoping that I'll continue to have opportunities to minister to this particular patient as she struggles with trusting God during her treatment.

While I was at camp, I heard from my best friend Andrea, who was married last August and has moved to Arizona with her wonderful hubby, Matt. Andrea is just over 18 weeks pregnant and found out she is expecting a baby boy. It was definitely a highlight of my week to hear that things are going well with her pregnancy and that baby boy Benjamin appears to be developing well.

That's all from my corner of the world. I'm going to take a warm shower and take a long nap in my own bed!

Camp 2008

I'm in the midst of packing for a week long camping trip with 100 of my Peds Hem/Onc patients, ages 6-18. We take our oncology, sickle cell, and hemophilia patients to Camp Don Lee in Arapahoe, NC once each year. Thankfully, we don't have camp in tents, we have cabins with bunkbeds. I love the opportunity to get to know the kids outside of our clinic setting. At camp, they see me and the other staff as real people, not just their healthcare professionals, which is fun. It's hard to leave behind the comforts of home...especially my hubby, a comfortable bed, and the internet, but I know I'll have a great time once I get there. Everyone check in on Steven for me. I hope he'll take advantage of a week to have some guy time and enjoy getting more settled into our new home. I'll update everyone on the festivities of camp when I return next Saturday.

Beach Bums

Steven and I are just returning from Emerald Isle where we had the blessing of spending a week with Steven's family relaxing at an ocean side paradise. This beach trip has become an annual event for the Gurkin side of the family, Steven's mother's family, and definitely one of the highlights of our year. We always look forward to time with the family, making memories with our niece and nephew, eating delicious meals, playing games until all hours of the night and this year, meeting our new 2nd cousin, Emma Grace. Now it's off to camp for me, as the pediatric hematology/oncology division hosts a camp for approximately 100 of our patients each summer - and Steven will be busy with different orientations for residency, which begins July 1st. I'm so thankful that we had this chance to spend time relaxing together before his residency begins and we're so grateful to have such an amazing family whom we love to be with.

Our new home

Steven and I stayed up until 5am Thursday night into Friday morning packing our duplex for the big move into our first house on Friday. We were so thankful to be able to hire movers to do all of the heavy lifting! It was a long day but we were settled snuggly into our new home on Friday evening. We woke up this morning feeling like we were at a bed and breakfast! We absolutely adore our new home and are having fun settling in. We hope folks will be able to stop by and see us. We're across from the ECU baseball and football stadiums, so we're in the midst of all of the ECU action! We've attached one photo of our new home, but hope to add more once I can figure out where we packed the digital camera.

It's Official!

What a weekend! Steven is officially Dr. Steven Manning!!! We have celebrated for two days straight and I am pooped. We have had an amazing time celebrating with family and friends. Today was very special, as Steven's brother and sister-in-law hosted a pig-pickin' for our family and friends to celebrate this momentous occasion. It is still extremely surreal for me. It's hard to believe that Steven and I have come from being 16 year old high school sweethearts, to being married for nearly six years and now he is a medical doctor. This is definitely not what I expected when we were graduating from high school, but I'm so thankful. I know God is going to use Steven in so many ways to minister to and serve people in Eastern NC. Congratulations to my husband, Dr. Steven Manning!

Incomprehensible

Since our miscarriage I have found myself struggling with the fear of suffering...and ultimately with doubting God's goodness. As I have been thinking through this fear and doubt I have realized one major thing...God's ways are incomprehensible to man, and especially incomprehensible to me. But that reality is not a cause for more fear for me, it's actually a relief. I've realized that I am not supposed to have all of the answers, I'm not supposed to understand his ultimate plan in everything that happens to me, and that it all boils down to the fact that as His child I have the gift of assurance...assurance in knowing that, "...in all things, God works for the good of those who love him..." (Romans 8:28). Now don't get me wrong here, I'm not saying this is easy by any means. No, no, no...it's definitely hard, but that's the beauty of it. It's hard because these struggles force me to wrestle with the reality of whether or not I truly believe scripture. Do I believe that God orchestrated this miscarriage for my good? Yes I do...that's a lot to swallow right there, but yes, I do. To the average person I probably sound like a nut case, a religious freak and from a worldly perspective I guess I am. But in my heart I find comfort in knowing that I can trust that God sees the big picture and that he's doing something wonderful through this miscarriage. Do I want it to ever happen again...No way Jose, but I know that it very well could.

Philippians 3:8
"...I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord..."

Ah, perspective...the reality that there is nothing greater on this earth, nothing more valuable to me than knowing Christ Jesus; He gives me purpose, He gives me peace, and most importantly, he gives me hope...hope in an eternity with Him ~ which is far greater than any earthly reward.

Truly Pressing On

We've had so many happenings over the past few weeks. March 20th was Steven's much anticipated Match Day and we were thrilled when we opened the envelope and found that Steven matched at PCMH/ECU Brody School of Medicine. We're so excited to spend the next 3 years here in Greenville and hopefully many years to come.

On March 28th Steven and I went to the doctor for our first ultrasound. This ultrasound was intended to let us see if we were having multiples (a common consequence of taking Clomid). I had been feeling great with no complications so I was expecting a great visit, however we were sorely disappointed. The ultrasound showed that there was no fetal heartbeat, which meant I was having a miscarriage. As you can imagine, we were absolutely shocked. We have been through a roller coaster of emotions over the weekend but through it all we have been comforted through our faith and trust in Christ. We are blessed to know so many other couples who have experienced this grief and it has been a comfort knowing that all of them have gone on to have healthy children. We're just trusting that this wasn't the right time for this baby and praying for a healthy pregnancy in the near future.

On March 30th I had my first concert at Piney Grove Baptist Church, which in my opinion was a huge success! Considering everything that had happened, I knew it was probably crazy to sing, but I also knew that it was a fabulous opportunity to testify to others that I truly believe what I'm singing. There was a great turnout and God gave me the peace to share my struggles and songs. We raised a little over $1000 for the Huntington's Disease Society of America, which is of course, thrilling!

And finally on April 1st I had an outpatient D&C at PCMH. The procedure went well and I was so thankful that God gave me peace about the whole thing. I had fabulous doctors and nurses, that really put me at ease. I'll probably be recuperating for the rest of the week, but overall I'm doing well.

So, as you can see, just over the past two weeks, I've had numerous opportunities to practice what I preach in my album Pressing On. I know that God has a purpose in all things and I hope that out of our trials, others will be inspired to Press On in their faith and ultimately trust Christ through their own trials.

Big News

Okay, I can't keep it a secret any longer. Yes it's true...we're expecting! I can't even believe it myself, but it's true. On November 5th a new little Manning or possibly Mannings will be coming into the world. That's right, it could be twins! Steven and I will find out on March 28th if we are having twins. Of course, as you can imagine, my mother is ecstatic as this will be her first grandchild. Steven and I loved telling our families and surprising everyone! The greatest response was from my daddy. I told my daddy and he really didn't show any response at all initially, so I didn't think he could cognitively understand. I returned to my folk's house the next day and daddy looked a lot more alert, so I asked him if he remembered our conversation from the day before and then asked him what I was having. My daddy looked at me and said, "a baby" so clearly. It was priceless. Not only that, but he repeated it later in front of my mom, so they had a moment to share in the joy of becoming grandparents together. I was so happy to know that my dad understands at some level that he's going to be a grandfather.

So, lots of big things coming in the very near future. A baby, Match Day on Thursday, possibly a move to a new home, and then of course, my concert on the 30th of this month. Speaking of which, I've got to go and practice. Please pray for my health and for the safe development of our baby.

My first concert

Hi everyone,

Steven and I are doing great. Match Day is March 20th and Steven has submitted his choices for residency. We can't wait to hear where we'll be spending the next three years!

I wanted to invite everyone to my very first concert. I'll be singing at my home church, Piney Grove Baptist Church in Williamston on the evening of March 30th! I'm really excited and yet very nervous about the event, but I figured there is no better place to have my first concert, especially considering that it's Piney Grove that gave me my first opportunities to sing (in the choir and special music). I hope to sing 5-6 songs from the album and I'm happy to announce that I'll be donating part of the proceeds from the sell of any cds will go towards Huntington's Society of America. I think everything will begin at 6pm, but I'm not certain. I'll keep you posted.

Final Interview

Steven and I spent the weekend in Concord, NC, where he had his 6th and final residency interview. I really loved Concord, primarily because it was a town that I didn't feel overwhelmed by. The program is very community based and I loved the fact that they serve rural populations. However, our number one choice continues to be ECU. Steven received an encouraging email from ECU's family medicine residency program director The email basically spelled out that ECU wants him there in the fall. Steven and I were so thrilled to receive this email and feel confident that we'll be staying in Greenville this fall, however we won't know for sure until Match day in late March.

Another fun perk of the weekend was seeing my family; my Uncle Phil and his two boys plus my most wonderful brother! We saw our first snow of the season, which is always magnificent. It was a great way to spend one of our final weekend of freedom this semester.

Holiday Reflections

Steven and I had such a great holiday season. I was off of work for an entire two weeks, which was marvelous. Our hoilday began on the 19th with a drive to Charlotte for Steven's residency interview at Carolina's Medical Center. I loved the opportunity to tag along with Steven as it gave me the chance to hang out with my brother and other family who live in Charlotte. Steven was impressed by the program and I'm hoping he will rank it #2, but continue to pray that we'll get placed at ECU! Christmas was wonderful! Every Christmas I have with my daddy is special because I always think that it could be his last. But truthfully, I should have that attitude every day, with every person I come in contact with. God has not promised tomorrow, only today; thus I should make the most of every opportunity He gives me. We celebrated Christmas 4 times; 3 times with Steven's side of the family and once with mine. Steven and I are continuously grateful for the fact that we have so much fun with our family and truly enjoy the time we spend together. We went home on the 26th and were welcomed by my sweet friends Andrea & Matt Sutton. The couple were married in August and moved to Arizona, so it was a thrill to see them to say the least! We had the greatest week of sweet fellowship and late night laughs. We had so much fun that Steven and I are already planning a trip to Arizona in 2008.

Speaking of 2008, can you believe it's a new year? 2008 holds so many new things for me and Steven. We'll find out in March where Steven will be placed for residency, which potentially could mean a move. Steven will begin his vigorous residency schedule in July, which will be a new challenge, but a welcomed one as it will mean a paycheck:) Who knows what doors will be opened for me with my new album. I've just been so thrilled to see how excited everyone has been to hear the album, I can't wait to see what else will come of it.