Nine Years Without Her

Friday, December 14th marked 9 years since my sister's accident and death. It's still unbelievable to me that I haven't seen her in that length of time. That day will now also be a day to remember the shootings in Newtown, Connecticut. My grief seemed so small in light of the heavy burdens I knew so many families were experiencing that day. Reminiscing on the loss of my sister and then the shootings in Connecticut made one thing clear to me, nothing in this world is permanent except my relationship with Christ and the pain that we all experienced this past Friday, as we witnessed such depraved evil, makes me long for reconciliation, for Christ's return so that things can be as they should. That's the only sense I can make of any of it, God wants me and every person in this world to love Him and long for Him above all else.

I do want to note though that I'm so thankful to God that he has brought my family through these last 9 years. My mom and I were talking about how there was a time that we really didn't think we could live without Meredith and the sorrow seemed to overshadow our every moment. We're so thankful that God has given us the strength to keep living and loving and blessed us with so much joy through the twins.

It's sad to hear my little Meredith ask about he Aunt Meredith. Just today she asked me why Aunt Meredith died (yes, we talk about things like that). It's hard to speak so matter of factly to her about it, but I don't want my kids to be scared to talk about the reality of death and I want them to know that it's okay to be sad. It just blows my mind that my little Meredith thinks about things like that because she asked totally out of the blue at a time when we hadn't even mentioned Aunt Meredith. I'm so thankful she knows who Aunt Meredith is though, that she is part of her vocabulary and she knows that she was named after her because Aunt Meredith was so special to me and because SHE is so special to me. Wow, didn't mean to make this post so long, but that's what happens when I start talking about my sister.

27 weeks, Final Week of 2nd Trimester

Can't believe 27 weeks has arrived in this pregnancy. I had a great checkup today. My blood pressure and weight gain are looking good and I haven't heard anything from my glucose test screening for gestational diabetes, which in this case no news is good news. Elizabeth's heart rate was strong at 140 bpm and measuring right on target, so I am just rejoicing in this healthy pregnancy!

A lot of folks have been asking how the twins are doing with the pregnancy and they seem to be embracing it all. We talk about Elizabeth's arrival a lot and they have tried to feel her kicking, but no luck yet. I feel her kick a lot, but they're not patient enough to wait for the kicks. We're really going to start working on room preparedness for Elizabeth in January and we'll be taking the twins' cribs down so Elizabeth will have one and they can use their twin beds. We'll see how they adjust once visible change starts happening.

Here I am at 27 weeks. No hiding it now. I'm more achy than I was with the twins and just feel more uncomfortable, but most friends say that's normal with subsequent pregnancies.

Simple Fun at the Park

Ring Bearer Berkley

Berkley served as ring bearer in Stevan's 1st cousin's wedding this past Saturday, December 15th. I was so incredibly proud of him, he was amazing! He stood in his spot the entire time and didn't make a big scene. Now, he did have some moments of playing with the ring bearer pillow and he started nodding his head to the music a few times, but he was great for a 3 1/2 year old in their first big gig. I was so nervous beforehand that he'd never do it without Meredith, especially with people staring a him, but he proved me wrong and God answered my prayers. Look at my big, handsome boy!

Preschool Family Fun

On December 7th we took part in the preschool's evening Christmas party in which families have the opportunity to make a gingerbread house together. I have to admit, this was my first gingerbread house ever. The kids were a little distracted by all of the candy, they wanted to eat it rather than decorate with it. Daddy couldn't make it, so we were blessed to have Grandma join us. Fun was had by all:)

First Christmas Play

The twins were in their first Christmas play at church on December 9th. It was a fun twist to a traditional play in which superheroes were seeking out the king who they heard was going to save the world and thus take away all of their jobs. The shepherds were not just plain shepherds, but karate fighting shepherds who protected their sheep by night. Berkley was one of the karate shepherds and Meredith was an an angel. Berkley loved the spotlight and just came to life on stage. He did a "hi-yah" real loud and made everyone laugh and then broke out into free dance on stage. Meredith played Away in a Manger with a bell choir and made us so proud. She was nervous and kept rubbing her little nose. They both did a great job and I feel like taking part in the play really helped bring home the message that Christmas is truly all about the birth of the king who came to save the world.

Fun First Day of December

I just wrote a wonderful, lengthy blog post via my iPhone about today, only to somehow mistakenly delete it. So, I'm a bit frustrated. But, I can't resist sharing the pictures which inspired me to write the blog post in the first place.

Here are the twins enjoying horse drawn carriage rides with Papa and Mima at today's Martin County Farm Heritage Day. And then there are pictures of the twins anticipatory looks as the Jamesville Christmas parade began. They are the perfect age to really enjoy both events. They are inquisitive about all of the farm equipment and history and the holiday is magical. December is going to be a fun month!